will i ever grow up.

a post about New York, 3 years later.

Posted in Personal stuff, Photography by ladybug on November 29, 2011

I traveled to New York City 3 years ago, and at the time I had decided to study photography so I took a film camera with me. When I got back to Beirut, I went to the university on the first day and I was telling my teacher about the trip and about the photos that I took there. He told me that I shouldn’t even try to develop the photos because the scanning xray in airports completely damages the film. I was very disappointed and I blamed myself for not having known that crucial piece of information before I went there and acted all artsy with my black and white film.

3 years and 3 months exactly have passed since then. Every once in a while I open that drawer where I keep the unprocessed films and I remember my teacher’s words.

Then, a few days ago, I was talking to one of my friends (thank you Amandine, by the way), and she was telling me that xrays are not a fatality, that the film could still be in good condition. Although I had very little hope, I went to the photo store to process my films as I really wanted to clear the matter up.

A few days later I came back to take my developed prints and it was the happiest day of my week:


a post about art

Posted in Personal stuff, Photography, thoughts by ladybug on September 27, 2011

I don’t understand contemporary modern art, and I’m sure I’m no exception.















Generally museums are located in the best parts of town and offer the best views you can find, so I prefer to look throughout the windows, most of the times the sight is much more interesting than whatever is hanging on the walls. I love to go to Centre Georges Pompidou and look at Paris from high up as much as I love visiting Karlsruhe’s Schloss and lookout to the magnificent gardens from the  narrow windows.





























Don’t get me wrong, I love art (if that alone means anything), but sometimes I’m annoyed by how much trash artists/museums dare to show us down-low human beings. As if someone could shit on a painting (literally) and impress me. I’m not an artist, or at least don’t consider myself to be one (cause the use of the word itself repulses me) but I know when I’m being fooled and brainwashed, thank you.

But besides all this hate, while visiting the Orangerie in Karlsruhe, I stumbled and immediately fell in love with an artist called Guillaume Bresson. His work reminds me of a modern Delacroix.

a post about being bias

Posted in Personal stuff, Photography, thoughts by ladybug on September 16, 2011

Today I went to the zoo.

I’m always confused when it comes to zoos. A feeling of culpability takes over me.  I know we probably all have the same questions whirling around in our stupid heads. I hate caged animals. But I love animals. Where else would I see them if not in a cage inside a zoo. Some will tell you that zoos keep certain species from disappearing. Others would tell you they are happier because they always get food on time and they are taken care of. No need to struggle. But what about pollution? What about equality? What about freedom?

I was looking at the sea lions, and one of them was looking back at me. Fixing me. And then I thought maybe she thinks I’m in a cage. How the hell would she know she’s in a cage if she’s never been out of it? So I kinda used a reverse psychology to make me feel better. And I did feel better for a while. Until I saw Simon.

Simon is probably the closest I have ever been to a chimp. Although a glass wall separated us, he was sleeping with his head stuck to the glass and I tried to put my hand on the wall, seeing if he would do the same. But he looked at me with sad half closed eyes and all I could think of at that time was if the glass would break if I punched real hard into it to save my fellow friend or if I did so would he run away to the inside corner of the cage instead of fleeing.

I stayed there for about half an hour. Although the zoo did quite an effort in doing a cage that is relatively quite big, it’s still so hard to see my brother confined inside a cage, dreaming of the lands of Africa. I left just when I felt the tears starting to form in my eyes.

Will I ever grow up?

the post about Istanbul

Posted in Photography, thoughts by ladybug on September 14, 2011

One of the places that striked me the most in my Istanbul voyage was the graveyards around the Pierre Loti hill. The graveyards cover the hill with shading trees, a small path meanders around them and beneath the thousand nested tombs, the Bosphorus glints while the sun sets behind the splendid mosque of Sultanahmet.

Well I lied a little, the sun sets on the other side of the hill, not where Sultanahmet is. But the image is much more romantic this way.


More posts about Stamboul on the way babies.

every day is like sunday

Posted in Personal stuff, Photography by ladybug on September 3, 2011























It’s not even a Sunday and the streets of Beirut are empty. The lack of green spaces bring people to empty parkings, soon to become other high ugly buildings.

Where do we go from here?

now and the past

Posted in Photography by ladybug on April 6, 2010

 Abandoned hotel.

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